Pal Challenge #2

Welcome back to Pal Challenge, where my pals give me stuff to write about. Today, I have:

1) Ass puppets: Nick Clegg VS Kermit the Frog.
2) What makes music good or bad?

So, I'll start with ass-puppetry. Thus far, it's unclear if Clegg is operated via his ass (I always imagined a marionette-style affair, with Cameron controlling Clegg, whilst being controlled by someone else- check out this classic album cover if you're confused), which immediately puts points in Kermit's favour as the superior ass-puppet.

However, that was only in the 'ass' part of the showdown. Kermit has a distinct, albeit slightly awkward, personality and a set of values that he holds true to. Clegg? Well, I can't say the same for him. So, who's more of a puppet? Well, I guess it's Clegg, despite Kermit actually being a puppet.

The winner? You decide. They're both fucking muppets, mate.

Now, part two of my pal challenge. What makes music good or bad?

The immediate and douche-y answer is 'personal taste', but that would be trite, and frankly a disappointing way to carry on, so I'm going to pull a Leo and go deeper (Inception gag's a little late, I know). This is always gonna be my opinion, and I don't wanna have to say that in every sentence. So no whining, okay?

The toughest part of writing this is that for every rule I make, there's gonna be exceptions. I don't have the patience to go into specifics of why I like everything I like, and why I hate the things I hate. I'll say this though: mainstream music isn't always gonna be bad, nor is underground music always gonna be good.

What mostly makes music good is a willingness to go the extra mile. If it's adding strings to a track, changing the whole song up halfway through or simply just making the very best music you can make. It's easy to half-ass an album, as anyone who's listened to the likes of Dead And Devine, Hidden In Plain View or Take The Crown will know (There are way more than this, these are just the first peddlers of sub-par music that spring to mind).

Sometimes, shitty bands are even unfeasibly popular. Anyone remember Limp Bizkit? When those talentless clowns were big, great bands like Mineral and Indian Summer were dying in a tragically overlooked scene (okay, enough pro-emo propaganda now).

Eh, lost my thread there. I kind of want to murder Papa Roach. And Disturbed. God, Disturbed suck.

Aside from putting in the time to do their vision justice, I like a band who writes a good lyric (post-rock bands are let off here). Honesty is preferred, but not to the extent that it becomes sappy (Say Anything's song Sappy is let off because, well, they're taking the piss a bit ...). The right lyrical sentiment can make or break a band in my eyes. You know what I'm talking about. There's a reason why Brand New are going from strength to strength when fellow Triple Crown alumni Northstar faded into obscurity in 2003.

So, I've talked way too long about music and still not really got across any kind of point. I think it's high time to wrap this up.

Sincerly yours,
Nick