Pal Challange #3

So, Pal Challenge returns! Mostly because I was out of ideas and I wanted to update. Since I blogged yesterday, it's probably too fast. But, my pals have been good to me and given me these delightful subjects to yammer on about:

1)'Can I justify eating the 3 1kg tins of chocolates I was given this Christmas? Could anybody?' from Criss.

&

2) 'Indie becoming the new mainstream.' From Lydia.

Let's rock this shit! Woo! That's my enthusiasm for the day.

First thing's first, three kilograms of chocolate? It's do-able, I'm sure. Well, I'm pretty sure that if I tried that I'd vomit, but if you can stomach it that much chocolate, go for it!

See, it's the opportunities you pass up that you'll regret. Except the opportunity to see Uncle Martin's magical snake. Boy, do I regret that one. But paedophiles aside, if you're presented with three kilos of chocolate I think it'd be spitting in the eye of Fate (which now has an eye. And a capital 'F') to not eat it. This is how I justify chocolate, cocaine and mass murder.

Chocolate quality's probably a factor, too. If it's your favourite, guzzle away. If it's poo (metaphorically or otherwise), I wouldn't bother. Unless that's your thing. I'm not here to judge that. I'm only here to judge people who have sex in the missionary position and mean it when they say 'I love you.'

As for any actual health risks, I don't have a clue. I'd say drink plenty on your choc binge. Staying hydrated is important. And make sure you don't eat much else that day, or you'll just feel ill.

Now, I'm sure that chocolatey goodness has left you asking 'Is indie the new mainstream?' I sure know I'm think that. So, without further ado, let's dive in. Remember, it's not ironic to dive into water, so wear a helmet.

So, indie culture (as far as it can be called 'culture') is massive right now. We're talking really fucking huge. I mean, like, twenty beers and you'd still think it's a bit on the big side. Anywhere you go there's bound to be some ironic facial hair with an idiot hanging off it, screaming in terror as he realises too late that the hill is steep and his fixie has no brakes. So, indie is now mainstream, right?

Well ... kind of. That's honestly the best I can do. While the fixed-gear-dickheads are now all over everywhere like herpes on Taylor Momsen, it isn't strictly speaking indie. I'm gonna take a moment to regurgitate some of the hipster dictionary (hiptionary?) I swallowed and enlighten y'all:

'Indie' is a contraction of 'independent'. As in, independent bands and record labels, independent shops, independent films ... You get the idea.

I guess this means indie will never be mainstream. It's just the definitions of what is or isn't indie will change. Same for the mainstream. It runs in cycles. First something's indie, then it's mainstream, then it's unpopular, then it's retro and the indie kids love it again. You'll notice that, now they've been exposed, you see fixie-pricks (this is my name for them as of now) in Topshop more than you see them in, say, Geek Vintage (just thought I'd plug my favourite T-shirt stockists. You're welcome, guys).

So, now the fixie-pricks and their dull-as-fuck music (Yeah, I went there) are mainstream, what gets to be indie? I'm hoping skramz will get indie-fabulous (this isn't an actual term.). Think about it, it makes perfect sense. It's underground as fuck, aggressive enough to never be mainstream and as an added bonus the indie kids get to keep their thick-rimmed glasses. Not to mention, Liverpool's already representin' the music side with We Came Out Like Tigers, who are fucking brilliant if you haven't heard them (They only have one song on the link, sadly). If I was any kind of cool, I'd be petitioning on the streets for everyone to stop playing synth and start making sounds like four dogs locked in a burning shed.

Writing haikus about cannibalism in your yearbook since 1989,
Nick